How to Make Time for Yourself at Night

Today, I'm sharing some tips for self-care and implementing an evening routine. I love sharing ideas for making healthy changes… and there are some *great* ideas here!

This year I’m all about taking better care of myself. I don’t just mean by eating better or working out, I mean by really taking care of my SELF. Self-care is something we don’t strive to become better at. And as women we usually let self care come in last on a long list of daily to-do’s. We take care of the kids, the house, relationships, and your finances.

But take care of ourselves? We just can’t find the time. Or we’re too tired from all the other crap we did that day. 

So this year I’m calling myself out—I want to make sure my self care is a priority every day!

How do I have time in the evening to focus on myself and my relationship?

Some of the ways that I am able to carve out time in the evening to pay attention to my own needs are giving both boys chores. While they are cleaning their area, it gives me several minutes to focus on other areas that need attention, so that the main focus of my evening can be spending time with John and pouring into my own bucket!

Clark and Lennon pick up their toys and books in the living room as we begin to wind down our evening. After toys and books are put away, the kids watch one episode of  Trollhunters on Netflix ( or another show). This gives me about 22 minutes (but who is counting, lol) to wipe down kitchen counters, run the dishwasher, and get  any other household things done.  

Once the show is over (about 7:30), both boys head to their bedrooms. Clark will read for a bit ( until about 8:15 or so) . Lennon goes right in with John. They fill Lennon's diffuser, put on music and lay down.   This whole concept takes about 35–40 minutes to accomplish each night. We start about 7:45 and both boys are typically sleeping by 8:30 at the latest. 

Once they are both tucked away I spend about 5–10 minutes flipping the switch in our living room to make it relaxing. For me that means cleaning up clutter, wiping down any messes, brewing tea, and diffusing essential oils. I also switch our main lights off and use small twinkling lights.

The simplicity of an action, soothes our soul and rejuvenates us! 

Some evenings, while Clark is reading  I will do some simple yoga stretches, take a warm relaxing bath filled with Epsom salts and essential oils, or give myself a foot massage.  Again, on these occasions I do set a timer for 30 minutes. Taking care of ourselves doesn’t have to take hours and hours, carving out the time, the simplicity of an action, soothes our soul and rejuvenates us! 

By 8:45ish, John and I are ready to sit down and watch a show or take time to check in with one another. We chat, listen to one another and devote this special time to us without any distractions.

I have been going to bed by 10-10:30pm so that I can also meet my own self care needs. If you live by your natural circadian rhythm, that means you go to bed – or at least start winding down – when the sun goes down. This is the time of day when your energy is naturally waning and getting you ready to rest. I use this as my method of getting the kids to wind down as well.

Knowing you need to get at least seven hours of sleep, count backwards from your waking time and you’ll find your bedtime. It’s probably around 10pm-ish, but everyone is different.

Going to bed early, allows me to wake up earlier and have time for me before the day begins.

I promise you, you’ll feel a difference. Maybe you’ll sleep better. Maybe your stress levels will go way down. Maybe you’ll feel more rejuvenated the next day. Maybe you’ll get to connect more with your partner or spouse.

Why not give it a try!?

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